Dear Public Transportation,
I have a love-hate relationship with you. I love the fact that I spend WAY less monthly than I would if I had a car, however the hate is outweighing the love at this point. Lest start with your drivers…or as I like to call them NASCAR drivers. WHY do they feel the need to fly around corners so fast that children go rolling down the isle? I just don’t understand. There is the occasional driver I like to call “grandpa” who creeps along tapping the breaks every 5 seconds and stops at every single stop even if no one is there or no one needs off! Why cant they just drive the way they are supposed to…speed limit, breaking when needed, slowing down around corners…you know, normal things. They get paid to drive and get people to their destination safe and ON TIME.
Then we have the issue of regular maintenance. Why is it that you break down at least once a week. You do go in for checkups right? While you in for maintenance you might want to let them check out all the seats that are falling apart or missing completely…i think that is considered to be a safety issue…don’t you? Also why is it that on hot muggy days it is only the HEATER that is working…and at full blast most of the time?
Last lets get to the passengers. I know you have no control over this but it is part of my hatred towards using you. There a MANY different types of people that I see daily. There are some that are considerate, and smile at you and maybe even strike up a brief conversation….rarely…but it does happen. This is a list of the ones who I loathe.
- The loud mouth: On their phone talking so loud you would thing that they are back there screaming through a mega phone! NO ONE CARES what your going to get at the store or that you boyfriend cheated on you with you dad!
- The obvious creeper: This is the one that sits either at the very front of the bus and faces directly towards everyone else and stares at them forcing you into awkward moments of eye contact! If your trying to undress me with your eyes you going to be quite disappointed…nothing sexy here!
- The not so obvious creeper: the one who sits behind you and you can feel their breath and their eyes piercing into the back of your head.
- The smacker: Eating or chewing gum and just licking and smacking away. Damn is it REALLY that good? Then there is the ones who are smacking and sucking and you look back there and they have absolutely NOTHING….ewe nasty.
- The interrupter: Doesn’t matter what you are taking about or who you are talking to…they WILL butt in and start talking to you….this is an A-B conversation…C your way outta here!
- The farter: Yep…he/she don’t care…more room out than in. Oh it it will most likely happen on one of those hot muggy days I mentioned before where the heater is kicking full blast….expect it!
- The pisser: He/She either has a really weak bladder….laughed so hard and couldn’t get to a bathroom or most likely went out the night before and got so drunk they passed out and pissed their self.
- The shitter: This is the worst! You cant tell if it is just REALLY REALLY bad gas, or they literally just shit their pants!
- The baby mamma: This is the girl with 10 kids swinging from her every limb as she smacks them in the back of the head for breathing, threatening the to take the kids and leave em with their daddy….really…is it that bad?
- The goody two shoes: She is the one who gets on afraid to touch anything and holding her nose. Almost always she will have a newspaper to put down to sit on as if she is afraid somethings going to claw its way through her clothes and get on her! Something obviously happened to make you need to rely on public transportation therefore you are no better than the rest of us. If it is your choice to do so then trust me you will get immune to it all!
- The smoker: The one who is taking the last drag as they step on the bus and exhale all in the bus…cough choke cough
- The toker: This one is kinda slow,…usually creeping up as bus is about to leave and banging on the side of the bus. Upon entering they are so high, reeking of marijuana and a cloud of smoke chasing behind them.
- The fighter: The female who, IF you cuss and her child is there with her she WILL throw her child down on the floor to whoop you ass! “Seen it happen” and wanted to share this video with you:
I could go one listing but I will leave it at this. I promise I LOVE you…but I’m just letting you know of the little annoyances of our daily travels!